One to Party, but The More the Merrier
As I scavenge the entirety of DFW to find reasonably priced, fitting, business casual attire for my internship, the reality of me living in Connecticut is livening. Living there isn’t the nerving part; It’s leaving everything familiar that makes me restless.
Aside from my perpetual snide remarks and often playfully belligerent physical contact, I like to think of myself as oddly outgoing. But one unprecedented and dooming loom is slowly masking my soul - what if I have no friends?
(Photo credit to Cujean Lee)
I’ve never been in a situation where I don’t know a single individual in my surroundings. At UT, not only is half of Plano swarming the campus, but I also have the privilege of paying for new friends every semester through DSP. Even in Hong Kong, I had my trusty Longhorn companions to wait for me when my visa was invalid, or to cab a ride back home from a crazy night out.
But in Hartford? No one. Let’s expand out, though it’s not much, to the totality of Connecticut. Still no one. The closest beings are in NYC, two hours away on a train. I don’t want to be the pariah, cat-lady in my roaring twenties during a summer internship.
I’ll be celebrating my long awaited 21st birthday this summer, and though I don’t plan to get wasted on a Wednesday night with work the next day, some sort of festivities would be nice. It saddens me that my closest friends won’t be there to celebrate and participate in my debaucheries; I actually think some of my friends are more anxious about me turning 21 than I am.
As seen by the picture, I obviously have no problem fist-pumping and head-banging to Levels by myself, but life has taught me that memorable moments are made not alone, but with other people.
So those true friends out there who have my back, please be prepared with some alcohol and shot glasses on June 20th to celebrate through Skype with me if I don’t have any acquaintances.
I will truly appreciate it.
Quoted from the fantastic book “Phantoms in the Brain.” Thanks Jasmine for the rec!
(via jsetayes)
Source: consciouscreators
I Think I’m Falling in Love
You know the giddy smile you get when that special someone texts you? That restrain to text them, yet again, to avoid appearing needy? That otherworldly, sixth-sense telling you that this person was meant to be in your life?
From experiences ranging from seeking college boyfriends and formal dresses to sandwich containers and miniature plastic soldiers, I’ve explicitly concluded that when you’re looking, the world magically and unjustly hides the very thing you’re looking for in the depths of the sea or stock room or whatever.
This is unfair at the least. But incredibly, this is balanced by the spontaneous, often subtle acts of surprise that make life the indescribably charming blessing that it is.
With a break up, rekindling relationships from abroad, and overwhelming amounts of schoolwork, the last thing I was looking for was love. Rent money, new recipes, and a way to fit into my formal dress, maybe…but not love.
But there it was - there it is. Looking through my Facebook wall inundated with downtown and graduation pictures, it hit me during the last hour of Pretty Woman.
It’s hard, and I risk getting hurt. But I’m going to say it. I literally think I’m falling in love with my friends, new and old.
With them, I want to be those annoying, overly dramatic and obnoxious friends that I hate. I’m becoming the photo-taking, always gawking, needy friend that I’ve always despised.
My apologies for those I have annoyed. It takes a lot for me to admit my admiration, and I hope it’s not taken lightly. Everyone that you meet in life was sent for a specific purpose - to be your Big Sister, to get Ken’s donuts with you ever night without judgement, to chase after you with an injured leg when you’re storming off in anger, to cook you a bag full of frozen dumpling at three, or to listen to your juvenile, pissed off rants.
(A special thanks to Andrew for the dumplings…sorry this was the only photo I could find.)
So to my friends, thank you for making me laugh at the dumbest things and for putting up with my sass. I know I am not the easiest person to deal with.
:( This is not an exhaustive list of pictures my all means, but I didn’t want to post a bajillion photos. Sincere apologies. Let me know if you are severely offended, haha.
Midnight Delusion: Am I Skrillex?
Although I like to kid myself into thinking my biceps and forearms are still nicely toned from years of tossing flags and spinning rifles, I can unequivocally conclude better mental than physical stamina.
As if 21 hours of class evenly distributed throughout the week isn’t challenging enough, I’ve stacked 9 hours of class on Tuesday and Thursday next semester. Bring it on.
But right now, with severe end-of-semester fatigue and an endless study guide that’s basically informing me to know the entirety of a 550-page textbook, my brain literally feels like a overblown balloon on the verge of squeezing my eyeballs out of my head.
“It’s all a mental game - not just the cramming, but the fortitude and perseverance to not give up,” I tell myself.
My jaw is painfully cramping up, my mandatory five-minute, One Direction dance parties in front of the mirror are waning, and I find myself staring into the mirror watching my iris dilate in the light. This is pure delirium.
To further prove my delusion, I - too indolent remove myself from under a stack of notes - opened Photobooth on my Mac to sucker a loose eyelash out of my right eye. To my shock, I found a little, Asian, extremely dorky looking Skrillex staring back on the screen. And as if the stars were aligning, With Friends (Long Drive) by the half-bald dubstep phenomenon himself started playing through my headphones. (Kidding about that part. Life isn’t THAT perfect; I was actually listening to Fotografias by Juanes.)
The similarity may be the repercussion of learning way too in depth about IP Address for a sane human being, or possibly a fantastic chimera of my inner DJ. I have been jamming out with my new headphones all day…
Regardless, for those of you still up, best of luck.
It’s a mental battle. Don’t let those sleazy professors and a damned 3.67 GPA win.
Never In a Million Years.
Never in a million years, or more realistically twenty, did I picture my life being like it is today.
I’m not talking about the exact moment of 9:20:07 PM on May 9, 2012, when index fingers and thumbs of both hands are unattractively stained red from Flaming Hot Lime Cheeto-snacking during Dead Week of my junior year at the University of Texas at Austin…
…But more so in the general time spectrum of ‘now.’
Coming back from a semester abroad in Hong Kong, having fallen in obsessive love for Asia, as a MIS and journalism major sporting the greek letters of Delta Sigma Pi on my chest every other day.
Being a slight party animal, beer pong champion and having dated two non-Christian, non-Asian guys that I still madly care about and always fear will lose completely.
Having the courage and trust to start a Christian fellowship in a highly stigmatized Greek environment, and being a confidante to someone’s deepest, darkest secret.
Being a tech crazy dork trying desperately to start an interesting blog and celebrating my long-awaited 21st birthday in a couple months in Connecticut without my best friends, family, or anyone I know - yet - due to an IT internship.
*Cutting 9 inches of my forever, long hair and ending up in several compromising situations with my sister-like, HK/UT buddy due to the liberation of my ‘sassy self.’
Not having seen my brother or childhood friends in a year and not knowing anything that’s going on in their lives.
My life is funny; My Creator has a sense of humor, and in hindsight, we are all geniuses. The moment ‘I’m never going to…’ comes out of my mouth, the probability of it happening increases by at least 75%.
In that case, ‘I’m never going to marry Harry Styles.’
*As reminded by Mama Tsui. <3
